Findom (aka Financial Domination) as I explained on my site’s BDSM Glossary is a type of domination in which the Domme has control over the sub’s finances. The sub tributes to the Domme expecting nothing in return; as the Domme is never obligated to do so. The sub is either instructed to tribute or gives their cash over to the Domme for her comfort, etc.
It is NOT:
PROSTITUTION(Defined as the practice or occupation of engaging in sexual activity with someone for payment.)
A SUGAR RELATIONSHIP(Defined as a Sugar Daddy who provides financial assistance to a Sugar Baby.)
BEING A GOLD-DIGGER(Defined as a person who dates others purely to extract money from them.)
If your perception of Findom is so corroded that you automatically insinuate any of the following terms above, then you simply shouldn’t be involved unless you educate yourself.
I’m not sure why there are so many negative connotations to that word.
Is it because when a woman demands tribute for the honor of serving her then all of a sudden she’s a fraud? Is it ego? Is it the reluctance of seeing a woman dominate without expecting something?
I feel that people go into Findom and expect this and that and want it done a certain way to appease themselves.
*cough* Trying to top from the bottom. *cough*
Just as there are different flavors of ice cream, hundreds… if not thousands; there are different kinds of Dommes. There may be Dommes who do things similarly, but they cannot do things the exact same way because they are not each other. By that I mean, Domme A may do CBT and Domme B may do CBT in the same manner as Domme A. However, since Domme B is not Domme A, they will not do CBT in the same manner simply because they are two different people. Yes, their methods may be the same; but they’re different people.
Just as there are different Findommes. There may be the one who ignores you completely, the one who talks to you constantly, the one who wants to build a bond with you, the one who’s bratty, etc. There may be many different Findommes who are under the same “umbrella” in terms of their technique, but they are completely different people. When you go in expecting something then you’ve already shut your mind out to the reality of what your situation might end up being; whether better or worse than you expected.
Just because something is similar does NOT make it the same. You’d think that would be obvious yet… here we are.
You shouldn’t lump groups of people together based on what other people like themselves have done in the past. You shouldn’t lump people together in a category just because it seems the same. Ultimately you shouldn’t lump groups of people together to prejudge them period.
If you really want to serve a particular Domme then you’ll go forward and yield yourself to participate in Findom for that Domme. I’ve personally had subs who were not fans of Findom serve me simply because they craved to worship me to the point where what they were initially reluctant to do, they did so for their Goddess.
Now I understand that Findom may not be everyone’s cup of tea. That’s perfectly fine, no one should ever make you feel that you must participate in Findom. However, if you go to a Findomme who you are fully aware is a Findomme and you ask to be dominated but exclude Findom… then you’re just being a nuisance.
Why are you going out of your way to go to a Findomme only to ask not to participate in Findom? Similarly, if you don’t like Findom and go to a Findomme just to complain that what she’s doing is wrong and start calling her all these obscene things and lumping her into a group just because you either dislike or don’t understand Findom… then you’re being ignorant. Again, why is it that you’re going out of your way to complain to the Domme?
Everyone has their own kinks and fetishes that interests them. Everyone has their own lifestyle, their own religion that they follow, etc.
You as a human being should not feel the need to input your personal opinion everywhere you go every time you see or read or hear something that you don’t understand or disagree with.
As I always say, make sure that you have the same ideals as the Domme you wish to serve; otherwise keep it moving.